9 - The First Key to English Fluency is not the One You Think...

I think that I have never been someone who gets nervous easily, or, at least, not in a noticeable way.

You know, I’m a teacher and a coach. My job has required me to expose myself to speak in front of groups of people. I’ve done this since I was 21.

When I was working at CEUTEC, a university in my city (I was teaching adults) I had to teach in classrooms with 25, 30 people. But then, I was promoted and I became the English Department Coordinator, so I had to start to lead meetings, to provide training to my teachers’ team, and to lead events with the students community.

And that was a whole different story.

When you don’t know the people you’re speaking to, or they have big expectations of you.

Because, I didn’t mention this: When I got the promotion, the position was within the same company, but at another building, so I didn’t know the other teachers, I didn’t know my new team.

And that was intimidating. And there is when I started to identify how my body reacts to nervousness.

So, that’s what we’re talking about in this episode:

Uncomfortable emotions in english communication and how to manage them.

Because if, right now, the thought of speaking in English in a certain situation blocks you, you get uncomfortable, and you cannot communicate the way you want, first you need to discover how to calm your brain and your body.

This is the first key to English fluency.

You cannot speak English fluently if you don’t know how to regulate your emotional state when communicating.

First, we’ll highlight the common uncomfortable emotions English learners feel when speaking.

Second, I’ll explain what happens in your brain when you try to speak English and you feel blocked.

First things first: How do you define emotions?

Keeping it short and sweet, an emotion is a response to a stimulus (an event or a memory).

And the emotional experience has 3 components:

the emotion

our physiological response

and our expressive response

(REMEMBER: EMOTION - BODY RESPONSE - ACTION)

I love examples so let me give you one:

Bringing this emotional experience (EMOTION - BODY RESPONSE - ACTION) to English situations:

“You’re at the café and want to order some coffee.

You say what you want.

But the barista didn’t understand and asks you to repeat. (this is the stimulus)

Your brain responds with an emotion: You are embarrased.

You body responds too - there’s a physiological response: You flush. Your face gets all red.

And now your expressive response comes: You point out what you want from the menu. You don’t try to speak again. you point out. you pay. and you leave.

and when you’re walking away, you start feeling frustrated (EMOTION). you feel tension in your shoulders and your jaw (BODY RESPONSE).

And your brain is storing all this information:

"When I try to speak English, the other people don’t understand me. I get embarrased and frustrated. Uhhh let’s avoid this situation in the future. Speaking English is not safe”.

AND THIS IS WHY YOU BLOCK.

YOUR BRAIN'S TRYING TO PROTECT YOU.

See how one small misunderstanding built a pattern:

‘I tried to speak English, I felt awkward, I avoid.’

That’s the loop.

The good news?

Once you identify your loop, you can break it.

So, let’s check how uncomfortable emotions look like:

Nervousness - trembling and sweaty hands

Fear - shortness of breath and feeling a knot in your stomach

Frustration - tension in the shoulders or the jaw

Embarrasment - blushing or avoidind eye contact

Anxiety - increased heart rate

And mine: I told you before right? that when I was promoted, I discovered a new nervousness manifestation on me: I got a very dry throat. To the point that, if I didn’t drink water, I wasn’t able to speak clearly. That is my nervousness physiological response.

Some people get sweaty hands or an increased heart rate.

And I get a dry throat.

And indentifying this: The emotions you feel in specific speaking situations and the physiological response.

This is ESSENTIAL for you to manage these uncomfortable emotions and be able to speak English calmly, fluently, naturally.

What do I do with my dry throat?

I just have my bottle of water nearby.

Whenever I need, I take a sip of water and that helps a lot to not get a dry throat and to speak in front of people with confidence.

Sometimes the solution is not that complicated.

So, let me give you a step by step you can try to identify what’s really blocking your English.

1. Think about an uncomfortable situation you’ve had speaking English

(a time you made a mistake, or you forgot a word, or someone didn’t understand you)

2. Label the emotion you experienced in that situation

3. Identify the body response you experience. Which are the most common ones?

4. Ask yourself: “Is there anything I could do to manage this body response?

And be mindful here:

I’m not saying “avoiding this emotion and physical response”

I am saying “managing this emotion and physical response” because emotional experiences are involuntary. But believe me, you can manage how you react to them.